Suicide jokes
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
I wanna take drowning lessons, but I can't find more than one session.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Please encourage me to do suicide! ;P
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!