New Suicide Jokes - Page 8 - Worst Jokes Ever

My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan Mosque." Damn thats a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.

i was riding my bike when i saw a mans head in the wheel. it was mine.

I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.

that one depressed friend

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?

The apple... the emo just hangs there.

The man was dangling by a string! ... I was jealous the day he died

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince? The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"

Me: "To reduce the population by one."

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Coff- na, jk, bleach.

Dentist: Open up, sir.

Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

Dentist: Do you need help??

Me: Yep.

Dentist: ...

Me: ....

Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)

"Do you have a noose" Nose?- "Yeah, nose- nose... I heard your's was stuffed lately- haha." I actually smell something- Like a corpse Is it you?- "No." *Dying on the inside has never been so detectable