Suicide jokes
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.
Poop and balls through the walls!
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
The 9/11 suicide jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds. Sorry.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."