It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
What do middle eastern suicide bomber say before they blow up? I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide so we made it double
what is the difference between a walking dead and you he doesn,t feel pain
being asked for advice: after a failed suicide attempt what advice do you have for people out there as a suicide professional don,t try this at home
so there was a reason why I hated math I suck at proplem solving
thanks to the voice who keeps telling to let go he is my only motivation for trying again
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight year old girl then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture and train her as a suicide bomber
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
