Suicide jokes
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:
Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.
I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
Me die.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.