Suicide jokes
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
Me die.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
People love you.
Don't die.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.