Suicide jokes
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
The 9/11 suicide jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds. Sorry.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."