Suicide jokes
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
Try not to <3.