Suicide jokes
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."
"Why?"
"Because I want to hang!"
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?