[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.
what is less than 0?
my will to live.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair (RC-XD)
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly or... Are they just given a quick crash course?
How do you know all suicide bombers self identify as being old? They are all boomers in the end
Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?
So they can reunite with their dead family.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
I'm gonna cut my life off\
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack 2 weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life) -_-
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
