Suicide

Suicide jokes

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

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    • If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.

    I sexually identify as kilometers per second.

    Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).

    Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

    My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

    I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

    I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

    If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

    Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

    In reality, I like killing myself.

    This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.

    me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.

    My initials are K.M.C.

    Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".

    Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

    I’m writing an autobiography.