Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
The reason that girls are not allowed in boys' treehouses is because girls can't keep their mouths shut about boys taking turns sucking each other's hotdogs.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck it off...
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
