Suck jokes
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
Would you rather watch PL or suck a dick?
Adapt: lemme fart on that dick.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
What do you call a fish in a bowl? Fish bowl art at art art.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
I want to be a pornstar. Even if I completely suck, they will still give me a firm raise.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
Orphans are humans like everyone else, so suck it up, rude jerks!