Sucker jokes

What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?

A cock sucker.

What do you call a rooster lollipop?

A cock sucker!

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!

If you're a simp, just remember, it means "Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy."

What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?

"Cya suckers!🍭"

Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!

You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.

But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"

Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?

He was a brave sucker.

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

Iceberg: You may know me.

Titanic: You are a sucker.

Iceberg: You hit me.

Titanic: Moron.

Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!

Titanic: I don’t give a shit.

Friend: I broke up with Sara.

Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.

Friend: How did her pussy feel?

Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.

Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."

His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"

If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?

What sucks but doesn't suck?

Vacuums!

Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.