Sucker jokes

What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?

A cock sucker.

Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!

If you're a simp, just remember, it means "Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy."

Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?

He was a brave sucker.

What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?

"Cya suckers!🍭"

My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

Iceberg: You may know me.

Titanic: You are a sucker.

Iceberg: You hit me.

Titanic: Moron.

Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!

Titanic: I don’t give a shit.

What do you call a rooster lollipop?

A cock sucker!

You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.

But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"

Xzavier sucked off little Johnny.

I charge 50 bucks a suck.

What does suck a sucking fish?

If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.