Suck jokes
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.
He sucked his sister's poop hole.
Suck on my big fat ding dong, you idiot!
School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Huh what you say?
Come fight me, suck a dick.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?
"Not now, I have a headache."
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
Job sucks. XD