Story

Story jokes

Cannibal

    • WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

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    • Baby

    • Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.

    Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...

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    • Bark

    • Riddles not jokes.

    What has 4 legs but cannot walk?

    What has bark but no bite?

    There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?

    What has holes but can carry water?

    What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?

    What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?

    What can you catch but not throw?

    And last one:

    What can rule, but not command?

    Tell me the answers in the comments.

    Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/

    One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.

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    • Story memes

    Earthquake

    • There was a house with a three-story building.

    The first one had Mexicans.

    The second one had Africans.

    The third one had white people.

    An earthquake came.

    But who did survive?

    The white family because they were at work.

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    • Priest

    • A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

    Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

    The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

    A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

    Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."

    She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.

    The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

    He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

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    • Monkey

    • I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣

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    • Poem

    • In Mia's world, where bottles and parrots meet, A whimsical symphony takes its seat.

    With feathers ablaze, the parrots take flight, Their vibrant hues painting the day with delight.

    Mia, a dreamer with a heart full of glee, Embraces the beauty for all to see.

    Her bottles, like whispers of stories untold, Capture the magic that time cannot hold.

    Each bottle, a vessel of dreams and desires, Unveiling the soul's deepest fires.

    They dance in the sunlight, sparkle and gleam, A kaleidoscope of colors in Mia's dream.

    Parrots, enchanting with melodies rare, Sing ballads of love, floating through the air.

    Their voices, like echoes of nature's sweet call, Enchanting all hearts, big and small.

    Mia, with reverence, sets the parrots free, To soar across oceans, to distant lands and seas.

    In their freedom, they find their truest grace, A testament to love's boundless space.

    And as Mia's bottles journey afar, They carry her dreams, like a guiding star.

    Through mountains and valleys, they'll forever roam, In the hearts of dreamers, they'll always find home.

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    • Dream

    • There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

    He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

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    • Peter Pan

    • Why is Peter Pan always flying?

    Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)

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    • Butt

    • Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.

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    • String

    • So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

    He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

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