Story jokes
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
Okay, I'm going to be sharing a story that I never shared before... Look in the chat to see the whole story.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands!
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!