Store jokes

Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?

IHOP

Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?

Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?

I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.

The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.

What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? 🤨

Me: What?

The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.

I went to the store and I saw no oranges, and I went to ask the cashier:

"Cashier: Which one?"

7-Eleven

8-Eleven

9/11

Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."

What did 1 pay with at the store? A 1/4 ;)

One day you were at the store and you see you in a cart, and so you get out, and it was a mirror. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Lol

Why don’t Indians play soccer?

Cos every time they get a corner, they open a shop.

I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.

One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.

The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.

I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.

Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!

I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.

9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.

2 people bought plants.

3 people bought shovels.

1 person yelled.

3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.

1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand store!

A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"

Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."

Why can’t orphans build anything?

Because they can’t go to Home Depot.