Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
