*walks into sex shop* Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex please.
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out. "He doesn't love me anymore!!" The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because ,most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis' the officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
Your hairline so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in-time before it grew
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
Whats the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk
Q: Why aren't there any Wal Marts in Afghanistan? A: Because there's a Target on every corner
i went to the store because i ha to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because i was playing mario kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma lik if yu creyre everitime
I can’t remember if I already said this or not I might of already said this also this is a true story. So I’m walking into a store in Amish country and there’s this guy with a bear trap then my moms friend says this guys gonna catch some bears then the Amish guy stop looks around and whispers “it’s for democrats”
Elderly man: can I get a discount please, I fought in world war 2..
Cashier: sure!
Elderly man: danke
I went to the store and i saw no oranges and i went to ask the cashier:cashier:which one
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: Do you have chocolate filled ice cream? The man replies: We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one? Johnny replies: Sure. After that the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later the man comes with a ice cream and Johnny's phone. Johnny asks: How much for the ice cream? The man replies: Nothing, its on the house. After Johnny ate hes delicious ice cream, he searched for hes watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
My dad went to go get milk, he came back 7 years later and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk
I got carded at a liquor store and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out . The cashier said never mind
why did the son go to the store? to find his dad
one day i seen a little boy walking in the grocery store so i asked if he was ok and he said yes i asked where his parents were and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk isle
Why did the emo go to the store To buy bleach
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her. Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the hunger games cuz she thought it was a eating competition. Yo mama is so ugly when santa claus saw her. He yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t" Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didnt let her leave Yo mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
When I was younger i went to an indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the Cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly". So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
little Johnny likes to play with toy guns little Johnny paints them black little Johnny went to a gun store little johnny made a big mess the cemitary people were getting paid.
