Down syndrome kid: stop being greedy with the Lego’s Me: stop being greedy with the chromosomes!

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

Why doesn’t George Washington carry his ID? Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.

So today is my birthday today am 13 but yesterday am going to turn 10.but am not even go to school to know the number ten becuase one time at 10 pm in the morning it was so cold in in my hot room so I want outside to drive my car to drive my car. But I stopped becuase the light turn green.i was talking a bath in the front of my car out it didn’t have bin so am taking a sh$t

Stop

Run or something will come to you and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you

Best way to stop a fight between deaf people? Just turn off the Lights

please stop using this thread it is cancer

me: nok nok teacher: who is there Me: boo Teacher : boo who Me: stop being a crybaby and open the door! Teacher:… Me: aw man detention again.

why were helen kellers hands crippled? From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour

What do you call a cow that doesn’t stop shaking?

A milkshake

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

“Stop it! It hertz so much!”

Sans: haha… Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that’s nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!

I wanted to have sex but i share a room with my brother so we made code tomato for faster and cheese dor more and i shouted tomato tomato cheese cheese. My beother said stop making sand witches your getting mayo on my bed!

You work at papa’s pizzaria ok?

Boss: your fired! Me: ok? Worker: Why are you fired? Me: oh you wanna know… shows him the oven with my pizza Me: I left my pizza in the oven that bitch burnt as fuck!! Worker: OH SHIT!! Boss: did you say pizza? Me: i sure did! shows boss pizza in oven Me: this hoe black as fuck! Boss: i fired you because i count stop looking at your ass not this why?

nok nok who is there who who who stop acting like a owl

If you don’t stop the pun, soon it won’t be so fun.

How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles? You nail its other hand to the floor.

Why did the orange stop

Because it ran out of juice Hahhaha

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

Loading...