Stop jokes

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.

How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

Mine never stops.

HELP! HELP!

TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

1: Hey.

2: What?

1: We're outta paint.

2: *HMM*

(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)

"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"

If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).

I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.

Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!

There was a big problem yesterday.

My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Please.

Please who?

Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.

Lol.

Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.

Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"

Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!

Why did Naruto stop trying to get at Sakura?

Why?

Because it would be useless. :)

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"