Stop

Stop Jokes

Death

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

Issue

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.

Mother

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

Fear

Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.

Mom

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

Bus

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

Democrat

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

Orphan

Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.

Laugh now.

Sex

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

Orphan

Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.

Paint

1: Hey.

2: What?

1: We're outta paint.

2: *HMM*

(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)

Naruto

Why did Naruto stop trying to get at Sakura?

Why?

Because it would be useless. :)

Midget

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.