Stop jokes

Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.

Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.

Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.

My wife told me to stop being an idiot.

I told her, "Which one do you want?"

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.

Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

#NoMoreOrphanJokes STOP IT NOW! I will dislike all the orphan jokes that appear.

How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

What did one butt cheek say to the other?

"Together we can stop this shit."

People who don't have common sense are just stupid people with ugly hearts. STOP HATING PEOPLE YOU NEVER KNOW! Also write "then exit the f word site," and I think we know that won't happen!!!

I L.O.V.E GWEN!!!!!!

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

A cop pulls over an old man.

The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The old man said, "No."

A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.

The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.

The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"

Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."

When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor? You nail its other hand to the floor.

Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.

Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.

Me: "/"

How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?

When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.