Stop jokes
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.