Still jokes

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

Stephen Hawking's least favorite song is "I'm Still Standing."

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!

What's the difference between emos and 9/11?

The emos are still there, high up off the ground.

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.

You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

- Sure.

Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.