Still jokes

What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?

Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.

Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.

Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.

Anne Frank is still the Nazi hide-and-go-seek champion.

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?