Still jokes

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

"Prince? Are you still there?"

When you still there?

"Prince, be honest, do you still love me?"

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?

Sorry, still working on it!

I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.

Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.

What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?

Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.

Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."

Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"