Still jokes

I have a really good construction joke.

But I'm still working on it.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.

The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?

The cat is still alive.

What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?

Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.

What is the difference between runners and my car?

My car is still running.

Sex is like pizza.

When it’s hot, it’s great.

When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."

Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.

My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.

What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?

Clash Royale still has a tower.

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"

What is a disabled person's least favorite song?

"I'm Still Standing."

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.