Still jokes

You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.

The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

I have a really good construction joke.

But I'm still working on it.

We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.

What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?

The cat is still alive.

What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?

Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 15, as my basement's still dark.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

What is a disabled person's least favorite song?

"I'm Still Standing."

Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"

Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.

How's your dad?

What? I forgot he's still sleeping.

Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!

Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?

They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.