Stephen jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.