Stare

Stare jokes

Friend

    • My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

    Orphanage

    • My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

    I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

    He asked, "In an orphanage?"

    Dick

    • I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.

    Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.

    And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")

    But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)

    Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket

    So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

    And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

    I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long

    My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

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    • Parent

    • My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

    Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

    Blonde

    • Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?

    Because it said "concentration camp."

    Phrase

    • There was a kid at school. He was reading a book and he came across a phrase. It was "purple pation." He went to his teacher and asked what it meant. His teacher said, "What the actual hell? Get the hell out of my class and go to the principal's office!" The principal said, "It's okay, it was probably a mistake. I will clean this all up. In the meantime, what's the phrase?" He says, "Purple pation." His principal stares at him for about 3 seconds, then says, "Get the hell out of my school. You are expelled!" He ran 7 miles to his dad's office crying all the way. He went to his dad and explained how his teacher kicked him out of the class and the principal expelled him. His dad said, "Calm down, I will clean this all up," and he said, "That's what the principal said. He said, 'I will clean it up'." He said, "OK, the phrase is 'purple pation'." His dad said, "I hate you, get out of my office. I don't want to see you again." He ran down crying to his house. He explained what happened. His mom said the same thing as everyone else, so he explains the phrase. His mom kicks him out of the house, and he ran down to the park crying. An old lady said, "What's wrong?" He explained what's happening. Then she says, "Well, what's the phrase?" He says, "Purple pation." The old lady said, "See that house across the street? That's my house. Come over in about 30 min and I will explain." He says, "Thank you." It was the longest 30 min of his life. He sprints across the street and gets hit by a bus.

    Sorry guys ;)

    Store

    • While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

    Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

    Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

    You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

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