Stand jokes
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
I can’t stand disabled jokes...
Neither can they 😂
Stand? Wait. No.
I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
I was walking down the street when I thought I smelled my ex's perfume. Turns out, I was standing in front of a fish market.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.