Sports jokes

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They ain't got no home to run to.

What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?

A hockey player showers.

I wrote a book called "Endless Love."

It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.

Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.

Why don’t Indians play soccer?

Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.

What is a cow's favorite water sport?

Ca-MOO-ing!

What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?

America.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?

Eight-nothing.

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.

The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"

"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.

The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"

"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.

A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"

"Sure," said the little boy.

The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.

"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."

I like balls.

Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"