Sports jokes

What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Not being retarded.

What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.

What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?

The hole experience.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?

Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.

What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?

They both came in a little behind.