Sports jokes
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
I like dicks... sporting goods.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: Because they can’t find home.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Ball so hard! 😂🤣
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.