Sports jokes
Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is. :)
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.