Space jokes

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

What did Earth say to the other planets?

"You guys have no life!"

Which way did the cow jump over the moon?

- The Milky Way!

They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.

I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.

Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

If you faked the moon mission, don't apollo-gize.

Why did the astronaut return to Earth?

She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋

How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.

What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?

Space Invaders.

What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!

I parked in a disabled space today...

...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”

Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.

I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.

Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?

A Milky Way 😱

When do astronauts eat?

At launch time!