Yo mama so fat when she ordered a water bed they gave her the pacific ocean.
so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?
Little Johnny is in class one day and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says what's so funny? He said I can see your bra strap. The teacher says don't come back to class for a week, so he get up and walked out. A few minutes later little Billy starts laughing, and she ask what's funny now? Little Billy said I can see both of your bra straps. The teacher says get out of my class room for a month. So little Billy got pissed he walked out and slammed the door, this scared the teacher and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up then she stood back up and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked where do you think your going? He said well teach after what I saw I'm done with school for a lifetime.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid, they were still breathing so I told them to walk it off.
White girl : So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight? Me holding a rock of meth : YES!!!
An orphan was running down the road.. a car pulled up and said "get in" so the orphan got in and said "where we going?" the kidnapper said "i'm taking you to my house" he orphan replied "OML YOUR ADOPTING ME!?"
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him go big or go home and he only had one option.
My wife cheated on me with my brother She didn't have a sister so I improvised and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come
ur mum so old that when i told her to act her age, she died
yo mamma so fat when I swerved to miss her I ran out of gas
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth; and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
