SOS Jokes

3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.

so this blind man was walking down the street with his stick right. and he walked passed this fish market, he took a deep breath and said " WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES"

yo mama feet is so fat she had to wear a sock on each toe

Yo forehead so big NASA thought it was mars

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies, follow me on instagram: _zer0x3

This homeless lady called me ugly so I told her “ok then imma just go on home”

My Crush: I cut 4 inches of my hair yesterday Me: So? My Crush 4 Inches is alot! Me: Oh yeah?

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.

Can all the hot depressed, suicidal, guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we r. For real

A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.

Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

He came in twice.

(like if u understand)

youre foreheads so big it makes kanyes ego small

My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons

my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time...................tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time

I would roast you but your already so hot.

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?".