SOS Jokes

My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you

Coconut

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "you forgot the remote"

There once was a brother and a sister so one night it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don't tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks "what's that?" And the boy replies with "that's my pet snake" and the girl asks "can I pet it?" And the boy says "sure just don't tell Mom" and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks "what happened" and the girl said "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it's head off"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My gf dumped me so I took her wheel chair

Guess who came crawling back

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat. She said nothing, so I took her to Africa

Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops

Don't criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.

They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.

yo mama so ugly she went to the bathroom and scared the sh!t out of the toilet

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!

I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

then, she asked me flirtatiously

"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet".

She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys

opens her door

turn on the light

and she yells towards upstairs

"Mom, are you still awake?”

Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies "Well for your daughter, Denise" "That's a nice name" comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies "Denephew".

Your forehead is so large if I drew an H on it maybe Kobe could've landed

A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.

What's worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can't we just die :) ?