Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.
Your moms so fat, when she sat on walmart, she lowered the prices!
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike
I downloaded fruit ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself
yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying ten pounds of crack
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
yo mama so stupid she threw a mothers day party at a orphanage
A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.
The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.
After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"
The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."
So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.
About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.
He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.
The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."
So I was being robbed and this guy had the gun to my head to i told him he was holding it backwards.
Your hairline so far back that five hour energy became five day depression
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy, It usually takes me days
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . "You little bastard!"
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?" Mommy xays, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play" A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter. Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so l she l took the sissors and cut them off."
I went to the shooting range the other day after a while I realized I was the only one there so I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene, man I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave...
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand. He said, But Dad I'm blind. Exactly
