SOS jokes

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.

Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.

Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?

Because Black people can’t swim.

Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

Why are orphans so bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house is!

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"

Why was the stadium so hot?

Because all the fans left!

I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.

A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.

She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.

The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.

The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"

Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"

Yo mama's so stupid that she studied for her eye test.

I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.

Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

So I went to the doctor's and the doctor said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign."

So I said, "Aquarius."

And the doctor said, "Nah mate, you've got cancer."

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.