Yo mama is so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already WORLDWIDE.
SOS Jokes
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count bars like NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?
So the haters could SUCK on him!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because they could always count on their beats!
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill’s real name is Randy.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
Ugh, I hate anons, they're so anonnoying.
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
