SOS jokes

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.

Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.

Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.

Why are people from New York so bad at chess?

Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).

So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.

Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?

Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.

Why did God create yeast infections?

So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)