SOS jokes

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.

Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.

Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.

Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."

Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?

Because he comes in a little behind.

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."

My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

They already lost two towers.

Yo Mama's so fat... whilst she was walking the streets of London, she accidentally bumped into someone, and that someone yelled, "Stupid American!"

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.