SOS jokes
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Ugh... I hate Anons so much, they're annoying as fuck.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.