Soon Jokes

when your deppresed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," say Satan. "What is it?" The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl." Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?" The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."

Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: "Well...We're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny's father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" HIs father is confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

Last week I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a BALL. I wondered where it came from but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you Penaldo for almost killing me!

Doctor: You need new glasses.

Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.

Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.

Doctor: you'll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.

I got a phone call from a guy labled 'assassin' saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w-

*gunshot*

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes! "

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon"

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon

I don't like marriage, it's just like soup, as soon as your done spooning it all cools off

♫Transgenders men in disguise♫....A xxx transformers parody coming soon to DVD

guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're pare- oh wait, nvmd, carry on.

if I don't find a reason to live soon my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling

Rose's are Red Violets are Blue I've got Genital Wart's, Soon you will too-

Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play monopoly?

How do you think Princess Diana died?

...Too soon?

Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said “ That was the sound of the north wind. The next day his teacher asked the class “ What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”

When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD

a boy walks in on his parents having sex."What are you doing to my mother?!",the boy screams at his father,and runs out of the room.soon,the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room.They both go running.They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything."What are you doing to my mother?!",the father screams."It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?",says the boy