Dad: Hey son wanna here a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbors dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life son! My life is the joke.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George"
Son: Dad I had sex for the first time. Dad: Would you like to talk about it? Son: Sure Dad: Sit down and lets talk about it. Son: I can't my butt hurts.
*An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can't reach it so she calls her son for help* *a few minutes later* son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- *slips and noose chokes her to death*
A mother and son were in the backyard and the son finished building a shed. The mother says "You're the best husband ever"
son: can i go to my friends mum? mum: no! son: dad was right i am a son of a bitch! mum: bad news but your adopted!!
Son : "Dad, Are we pyromaniacs ?" Dad : "Yes, we arson
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
Joker gives batman a phone thomas:uhh son we need to talk... about the uhh dressing up. martha:hello dearie brucie is it ok if you visit me when you go to jokers house
Muslim child to his mother "mom why is my backpack so heavy ?" Mom: "allah akbar my son allah akbar"
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
son: Dad i know i’m adopted dad: well how do you know son: i found the adoption papers dad: that is for your mum
if you know you know
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah jack got high slapped her thigh and then they had some fun Jill for got to take her pills and now they have a son
Crispy Juicy Tender, I Just Put My New-Born Son In A Blender
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would we 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
Jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said "you know you wanna," Jill said "yes," and lifted up her dress, then they had some fun, but silly jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the fathers back. Keeping calm he tells the sons, "well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled then passed out from pain.
