Sons jokes

For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."

David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?

Answer: David.

A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."

What do you call an emo's face?

Elmo's son.

My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”

“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”

If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"