Sons jokes

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.

If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.

A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?

Answer: David.

My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.

The dad finally came back with the milk!

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.

“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.

“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.

So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”

“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”

As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.