New Son Jokes - Page 10 - Worst Jokes Ever

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

Mom: son where is my condoms son: what are condoms DAD: she puts it on me and the sandwich son: wait why did my girlfriend come over and take one dad: um I don't know but go to bed son: but it's 2:46pm in the afternoon bruh

Yo, dad so stupid he brought the milk after 2 years and he said oh sorry son in a go back to the store bye.

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."

My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL" .He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!

what did the Deagle say to the G17? "Son, you're rushing, but in someway, i like it.

RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?

Dad: Ill pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie Next day: Dad: son what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen? Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life gosh dad your embarrassing. The dad sulked for 3 whole years Proof that words really can hurt

A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on saint Georges day Irishman: We called our daughter valentine since she was born on valentines day Scotsman: We named our son pancake because he was born on pancake day!

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.

'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.

And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'

To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'

To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'

Son: Mom whats dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? tell him to clap

Son: mom i’m blind

Mom: Exactly

What did the mama nut say to her son? “If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks Dad," the son says. The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."

A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy.... and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the "girl" takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:...... um

What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? sSorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound, daddy has that game too!”