Something jokes

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?

They both hang by something.

"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.

Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

Name something an orphan can't do?

Go cry to their mommy.

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?

"That is bull crap!"

I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?

He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?

A family.

SEX Some Event Xaern

Xaern - loving something so much you begin to dislike it.

When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

There's something special about cemeteries.

People are dying to get inside.