Something jokes
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
There's something special about cemeteries.
People are dying to get inside.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.