Something jokes

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?

They both hang by something.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.

Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes

I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."

Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?

He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

There's something special about cemeteries.

People are dying to get inside.

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.

These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?

Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.

Wanna hear something twisted?

A pretzel.

We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.

Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.

Sans: I am doing something.

Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?

Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.

Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.

Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.

Bully: Your mom gay.

Me: There's something on your chin.

Bully: Where?

Me: No, on your fourth one.