Someone's jokes
Why do orphans go to church?
It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone "father."
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.