Someone jokes

What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."

How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?

They slash them.

Why are Nepalese 🇳🇵 bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their 👑.

Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?

His wheelchair always backs him up.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they finally have someone to call father.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

6 looks like someone facing up.

9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.

In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

Why did the orphan go to church?

So that they had someone to call father.

I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.