Someone jokes

Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?

His wheelchair always backs him up.

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?

A very good person.

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.

6 looks like someone facing up.

9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

Why did the orphan go to church?

So that they had someone to call father.

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?

A nugget.

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.