Someone jokes

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

Why do orphans go to church?

Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.

Why do orphans go to church?

It's the only place where they can call someone "father."

What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?

"Sari."

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he could call someone Father.

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

At least someone chose Pikachu.

Why did the dick go insane?

Someone kept messing with his head.

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?

A nugget.

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.