Someone jokes

Why do orphans go to church?

It's the only place where they can call someone "father."

What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?

"Sari."

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn’t pull it out in time.

I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

My dog died. I'm so sad.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

Why do orphans go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?

Cause they want to become Super Man.

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.