Someone Jokes

hey you the person who ́s scrolling, i know you might have depression and some feel they cant talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please if you need to talk to others if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone i promise you that i will talk to you, you are not alone and even though it seems it won't change and get better it will i promise. please no harsh comments toward each other.

Why did the electron leave the atom? Because it had its Ion someone else.

A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me. All I wanted was for someone to help me sue-Icide...

That moment when you realise you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway

How do you circumcise someone from Alabama? Kick his sisters jaw

If someone calls you, reply with this “Hi this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?

if ur white and ur racist to someone dont do anything

Why did the catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole? because someone asked him what would he do for a klondike bar

making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3

What do u call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.

"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."

"oh cool"

"this is mother Teresa's clock, the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."

"Makes sense"

"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice."

"Where's Trump's clock"

"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.

I took 7 coins from someone, he even came back from the dead to get them.

Someone butt dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

Don't criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone. Knock knock. Who's there? Helen Keller. Helen Keller who? (Don't say anything). Helen Keller who? ...you will get a laugh...ty.