Someone jokes
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Why do orphans love going to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
When you think she likes someone else
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "father."
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."