Someone Jokes

Someone tracked down a crippeled and said, "you can hide but you can't run"

What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you and what is dumbest thing someone can say that annoy you. The most annoying thing your parents can say: Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa! No, you can't have any dessart untill you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!) The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: Why is your name crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird! (That is really annoying if you ask me!) Thanks reading this...bye!

Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website anyone can fake to be someone there not and no one will know the goddam difference I’m just trying to look at/make jokes and I’m getting shit from people saying “it’s too offensive” or something like goddam just take that shit somewhere else. Smfh

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So i was laying in bed and jt winter do my room is aleays cold cause the heater doesnt work. And i was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then i layghed cause who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

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If you kill someone, that's murder. If you kill a family member, that's still murder. If you kill a child, that's "child abuse"

Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH

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A man sits in a bar and get seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics. The bartender asked, "What's wrong sir?" The man reply's, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me." The bartender says, " put 20$ in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash." So the man walks out the with 20$ he put in his shirt pocket. The next day the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?" The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me 20$ bucks for the wash." The wife pull out the money. "There is 40$-", says the wife. "Oh, he also peed on me he paid for the wash to." The man walks away in belif he didn't get caught by his wife.

What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?

They both have to stay in the kitchen.

Think of your favorite singer. Now. Go ask someone what is your favorite singer. My favorite singer is Halsey, BTS, . Now think about your least fave mine is oil London😵 this is my home now 1. What rhymes with oil put it in da chat. Bye weird people

What did the tower say to the other? "Man, someone's on fire today! "

This days dating life is hard, you put your self out there and its hard to find someone, the only thing to do is turn to family

My Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my Cat is a Democrat!

Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom? Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom

Someone kills a emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying. No one will suspect the killer was, anyone who took part.

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions ..you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared. The man did as was told and became generous and kind ..as he emerged from the betting office with all his money... he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person..each and everytime. He ,however couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what . When he died the Angel came back for him .. "But I'm undeserving I can't come with you" he said .. "Yes you can" replied the Angel , "you gave all your stake ( steak) away"