Someone jokes

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

Why do orphans love role-plays?

Because they can call someone "daddy."

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?

“My Mommy Comes Back”

Why do orphans want to be gay?

Because they will have someone to call "daddy" for once.

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?

He CRACKed up.

How do you know someone is fucking dumb?

They put jokes that have been used several times already.

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.