Someone jokes
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So it has someone to call father.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they have someone to call "Father."
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
Why do orphans want to be gay?
Because they will have someone to call "daddy" for once.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
Why do orphans love role-plays?
Because they can call someone "daddy."
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.