Society jokes
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
Why couldn’t the orphan find home?
Didn’t have eyes.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
Can orphans eat in a family restaurant?
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.