How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Society Jokes
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
