What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Why don’t you see gay orphans at a daycare?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
